I'm...proud to be...gay?

Those of you who know me, and I imagine that's all of you because nobody else reads my blog under free will, all can vouch for the fact that I am a hard-hitting supporter of rights for homosexual people. Naturally, I'm going to want to defend my own rights. It pains me that I am considered less of a human being than my heterosexual friends, and I know it hurts people like my mother to think that I am a second-rate citizen in this world. I will fight to my very last breath for every right afforded to every other person is given to me - and I know that eventually the world will come around. Although not quite on the same scale of persecution, African Americans have faced a similar struggle and through perseverance their goals were met and they are, at least legally, as equal human beings as the next cracka, despite black people being 80,000 times cooler than white people. It is their struggle for equality that gives me hope in mine, and I hope that one day I can bore the living shit out of my children by telling them how to war was won.

But let me tell you, I will take no pride in telling them the war was won with glitter, nudity and swear-words. That is not how my war is going to go down.

A friend of mine has already mentioned the slightly irresponsible manner by which our homo brothers and sisters have gone about their fight for rights, but I feel like that is only the tip of the homoburg. There are many campaigns on the subject, but the most prolific of them is the FCKH8 campaign. It was created in the wake of the Californian Proposition 8 (go Wiki it if you don't know what it is) and I think it is safe to say it is so far the most successful anti-homophobia campaign since Lady GaGa decided anybody cared what she had to say about anything.

Oh my god, please just be quiet.

Amongst a bucketload of merchandise, print campaigns featuring celebrities with duct-tape over their mouths (as it should be; I'm talking to YOU Miley Cyrus) are a barrage of internet PSA-style commercials featuring an all-sorts cast (and two really attractive guys) talking smack about how whack it is to be homophobic. Good idea, in principle, but just watch these two videos:

Don't get me wrong, aside from the two hot men, there are some valid points raised. But:

• WHY ARE THEY YELLING AT ME?!?  
• Why are they swearing so much?!? 
• Where did that guy's pants go?!?
• Who let their little girl flip the bird?!? 

That's exactly the kind of thing that contradicts my last post!

I do not believe in telling anybody how they should behave, and I definitely do not think that it can be said that all gays are exactly the same. So why do these videos do just that?
The main crutch of the equal rights movement is that despite our different sexual orientation, homosexuals are otherwise completely normal and are not the frightening, glitter covered extroverts most scare-campaigns would have you believe we were. Aren't these kinds of videos making us look like a bunch of foul-mouthed smart-asses that make two little boys kiss on camera for shits and giggles? What is wrong with these people?

We may be aiming towards the same goal, but that is not who I am and it is most definitely not how I want to be perceived. I don't want the world to think I'm anything like these people, I want them to know that these LSD-induced commercials are not representative of our people. No, I'm not a quiet nerd in a sweater-vest who listens to Puccini in my personal library - but I most certainly am not a screaming, potty-mouthed young person prancing about in my underwear talking about how stupid all those heterosexuals are. It's like whining about being persecuted for being a murder suspect while smothering yourself in blood. Gay pride, motherfuckers!

And while we're at it, what the hell does Gay Pride even mean? As far as I am concerned I did not make any active choice to be a homosexual and as that vulgar video points out, why would I? It's brought me nothing but misery since I first publicly came out and even as an adult it still continues to affect me.

And so I reach my point: How can I be proud of something I did not achieve through hard work? Is that not the reason one is proud of something? As far as I know, since I do speak English pretty well, pride is something you take in your achievements and not something you were naturally born with.
You can be proud that you trained for months and successfully climbed one of the hardest trails known to man. You can be proud that you got high marks in your recent exam. These are all things you put your whole heart into and you should be proud that you achieved them. Beethoven wasn't just born farting out symphonies. Has the word changed meaning, can we be now proud of the fact that we have brown eyes or a monobrow? Monobrow pride?

FCKH8!

If this is the case, then I want everybody to know I'm starting a new movement. It is called Freckle-on-my-left-thigh Pride! Baby, I was born this way and if you don't like it that's discrimination! FRECKLE PRIDE!